Fat Reminder

First the good.  I saw my primary care doctor today.  I've lost 11 pounds since my last visit there in March.  Also! My liver reduction diet is working...down 4 pounds since Saturday.  It may not be much, but I'll take it.

Now the ugly. I work for a major holiday dot com company.  It's family owned and operated. Our boss is quirky and loud and obnoxious. He's actually a spoiled rich boy who was handed a company to run from his daddy.  He's also gender biased. There is a definitive "boys club" at my job, and I'm definitely not a part of it.

At my job, we sell mostly holiday items.  However, the big boss will sell anything if he can get a good deal on it. We've sold toilets and urinals...popcorn...bales of hay....truckloads of mattresses...you name it, we've probably sold it.  We must of gotten a truckload of denim, judging by what my boss was parading around the office today.  A pair of plus size 26 women's jeans.  He came bounding into the office and asked one of the other girls to try to fit into one pant leg.  Oh! the giggles that ensued!  Look how funny! Fitting into one leg of a fat ladies pants!  And I loved the comments "OMG those things are huge"...."who can actually wear that size"..."wow"....

And I just sat there, trying not to notice, in my size 28's...

For a moment, it took me back to this one time in high school...

I was sitting on the floor in front of my locker working on homework after school.  Two older boys were walking down the hall and I knew what was coming.  I braced myself.  "Hey, look at that fucking fat whale"...."yea, haha, she's like a beached whale"...hahaha.  Fucking.Hilarious.

I mean really.  Being fat is sooooo hilarious.  I remember feeling like wishing I could sink into the floor and become invisible.  The boys started to throw spit balls at me, and all I could do was just sit there and pretend like it wasn't happening.  After all, occurrences like this were an everyday thing for me.  I got so used to being cut down because of my weight that I just accepted the bullying.

But all of those feelings just washed over me today at work.  And at first I thought what a stupid ignorant mother fucker.  Hello!  I'm not invisible.  He was RIGHT behind me when he was doing this, and it made me feel about an inch tall and about 800 pounds heavier than I already am.

But then this happened...

I decided to just fucking LET IT GO.  Screw him and his ignorance.  Screw the people who laughed and thought it was so god damn funny.  In my life, I have found that there are those people that will accept and love you - no judgement.  THOSE ARE THE PEOPLE WHO MATTER!!!

People who have to make fun of, cut down or bully others?  Pathetic losers, and I pity them.

I pitied my boss today, because he looked like such a fool!  And me getting mad just lets him win.  Eff that!  I took back the power today.  *I WIN TODAY*!!!

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