Why I Hate Resolutions...and Why I Made Some

It's almost the end of yet another year.  What they say is true; the older you get, the faster they fly by.  And 2013 really did.  At this time last year, I was patiently waiting for my health insurance to kick in so I could finally make my appointment with my bariatric surgeon.  It's hard to believe this journey of mine has been a whole year.  A year ago, I was almost 370 pounds, miserable, and just afraid I would keel over and die of a freakin heart attack.  I used to make deals with God.  I used to pray that when He did decided to take me, He wouldn't take me that way.  Any way but that.  Just the thought of going that way, being as heavy as I was, was just too humiliating.

Anyhow, a year ago at this time, I was just wishing and hoping that I'd get this last chance and saving my life.  Because dieting wasn't working.  The gym didn't motivate me.  And I was losing an uphill battle.

Now?  I'm down 117 pounds, very active, and loving life.  I'm not who I was last year.  I feel like I've been completely transformed, both physically and mentally.

So back to New Years.  I HATE people who make resolutions.  9 times out of 10 people are all "I'm going to lose weight this year...", "I'm going to exercise more..."  Blah blah blah fucking blah.  You know what?  No.  Just no.  No you won't.  You'll diet for the first week then realize what really goes into a lifetime transformation and get tired of it.  And those gym goers?  They're going to be hogging the mirrors in the locker room and all the good gym equipment will be taken.  Until February, when all those people stop coming to the gym.

It just annoys me.  I'm a weirdo.  I know.  But people who wait until New Years to decide to fix themselves....just drive me crazy.  You should start taking care of yourself the very SECOND you decide to change.  No waiting, no hesitating.  We get one go-round on this planet of ours.  One life.  One body.  That's it.  Take care of it man.  And don't wait until a frikkin new year to start.

Now, I know I sound hypocritical.  And I accept that.  Because that's what I always did. Waited for a new week.  A new month.  Waited for a birthday to pass by.  Waited because I knew that on such and such date, we'd be celebrating something and you sure as heck can't start a lifestyle change then...

So why did I make resolutions for myself this year?  I mean, if you prefer, we can call them challenges.  I made them because I know I can achieve them.  I know I can.  

The other day at the gym, my trainer asked me to jump up on these blocks.  I was like um yea, ok.  Not happening.  But, she knew I could do it.  And after a bit, I did.  She knows I need that mental push.  And I do.  Then, Saturday, we were working on the TRX and she hooked me up so one leg was in the stirrup things, and had me try to hop one-legged onto the bosu ball.  I couldn't do it.  I tried.  Twice.  And just couldn't overcome that.  But I know in time I'll be able to.  Because she believes in me, so I have to believe in me too.

Merry Christmas!

I've been such a bloggy slacker.  But, I work for a Christmas company, and this year has been nucking futs with work.  I've been working 80 hour weeks all December.  I've totally slacked off on my diet and exercise routine (I've been between 254-256 lbs all month long).  I just haven't had time for myself.  I'd blame my employer, but I make my own hours.  This year, I worked my ass off so we could have one hell of a Christmas, and we are.  The amount of $$ I have spent on my son is insane.  The amount of $$ I spent on my husband is even more insane.  And he also spoiled me rotten.  I know this because me and my husband suck as waiting until Christmas to exchange gifts.  He gave me two new tee's, a Hello Kitty scarf, two new hoodies, several new ornaments, even more new Hello Kitty's, my iPad air, my new Keurig, books, DVD's...I mean I could go on and on, but I'll just stop there.  We spoil each other.  

This year is so much better than last year.  I actually had the energy TO work this many hours.  I'm excited about tomorrow morning, but I'm also happy that it's almost over. Now, I can get back to myself.  I have a goal of losing 5 pounds before 12/31 is over.  Nuts right? But if I do, I'll be at 120 lost.  And what a kick ass way to end 2013, by losing 120 pounds!

Lots of new goals for 2014, but that's a different post for a different day.


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