Let's Talk About Protein...

Oh, there's that "P" word again. You know the one. PROTEIN. Protein is something that I sometimes struggle with. I don't always want it. Sometimes I want fruit, or anything, really. Just...well, not protein. But, I'm striving to become a better me, and have really upped my activity level, so it's...

Read more »

Whaaaaaat?

Weight loss is a funny thing.  It's an awesome thing, don't get me wrong. But it's also a funny thing. I guess maybe since I've lost so quickly, I'm having a harder time wrapping my head around it all.  I don't always see it, and I'm still conditioned to view my body at 368 pounds. Even today...

Read more »

Couch to 5K

So last October, after not even yet 100 pounds of weight loss, I thought to myself, hey, I want to run a 5K.  It was something that was always on my bucket list. I envy runners. They always look so free, as they run along. They inspire the ever-living hell out of me. They make me want to be more...

Read more »

This article...

Someone on one of my weight loss boards posted an interesting article today.  You can read it here.  I have my own thoughts on the points the author made in the article. 1. Power Sure, I had enough power, 145 pounds ago, to sufficiently hip-check any asshole that came into my path. It was great in large crowds, trying to make your way through, and being able to just shake my hip to the left or the right, and send someone on their way. But, I surely didn't have the power to lift anything...

Read more »

Check one off my bucket list...

One thing that has been on my bucket list, while losing weight, is to be able to shop like a normal person. For instance, I've been lusting after those cute Pink pants from Victoria's Secret. I've wanted to be able to wear something from that place FOREVER. Everything there is so cute, so girly. But, being an obese woman, I wouldn't even dream of going into that store before. It would just be humiliating. One of my friends sent me a gift in the mail today, and I have to admit, I had a really good...

Read more »

E-N-E-R-G-Y

145 pounds ago, I ached. A lot. My lower back was chronically in pain. A trip to the grocery store would fill me with dread. I knew before I'd make it through the whole store, I'd be in pain. My lower back would go numb from the pain. My husband and son would ask me to do things. Walk around the mall. Take a walk through the park. Explore the neighborhood. Anything. My answer was always the same. No. I'd find any excuse. I have a headache. My back hurts. I'm tired. Let's watch a movie instead....

Read more »

Self Doubt

This is me. Red-faced and sweaty after a session with my personal trainer.  Today was a good day at the gym.  I overcame some stuff.  Mostly, self doubt. When I first joined the gym, I was so nervous about being an obese person in the gym that I actually emailed the director before...

Read more »

"You're Fat"

Know what I've learned in my 38 years on this planet? When someone wants to insult you, they'll go for the jugular. They'll pick the one thing about you, physically, that they don't like, and use that as their ammo. I think back to all of the times throughout school that I was bullied.  I was never bullied because I was tall, or had long, curly hair, or wore a lot of Grateful Dead t-shirts.  I was never bullied because I was smart, or smoked, or was a choir nerd.  I was bullied because...

Read more »

Skin

Know what nobody tells you when you're super obese?  Just how much damage you're doing to your skin.  Know what EVERYBODY tells you when you're losing weight?  They tell you about their loose skin.   I was never a person who thought I wouldn't have loose skin.  I have been...

Read more »

18...

This is me.  The picture itself it a few years old, but I was at my heaviest weight, or at least I think I was.  My scale didn't go beyond a certain point, so I really don't know.  But gah.  I was SO big.  Sometimes, you just get so big, you don't realize how big you really...

Read more »

Non-Scale Victories

I really need to celebrate these victories just as much as the ones ON the scale! Yesterday at the gym, with my trainer, I had a tough day.  I kept having to stop, and rest. Sure, she was working me hard, and I did have a NSV at the gym (more on that in a minute), but still. Having to stop, to catch my breath and drink some water sucks. I feel like the big fat fattie at the gym who can't handle a real workout. Especially when she's got me over in the juicehead section, with all the big muscly...

Read more »