Non-Scale Victories

I really need to celebrate these victories just as much as the ones ON the scale!

Yesterday at the gym, with my trainer, I had a tough day.  I kept having to stop, and rest. Sure, she was working me hard, and I did have a NSV at the gym (more on that in a minute), but still. Having to stop, to catch my breath and drink some water sucks. I feel like the big fat fattie at the gym who can't handle a real workout. Especially when she's got me over in the juicehead section, with all the big muscly dudes, and I'm trying so hard to keep up and push myself, but I can feel myself sinking.  I feel the light head-ness, and I can feel the cold sweat and then my hearing starts to get dodgy and I know, I JUST KNOW any second now, if I keep going, I will pass out.  And I have to stop.

Yesterday I had several moments like that.  I had to stop and she had me sit.  She checked my pulse because she was getting worried and had a tough time finding my heartbeat. I had a tough time catching a breath and couldn't breath any more.  Finally, my breathing caught up, and my heart rate came back up.  And I decided, this is enough.  So, I called my PCP today and got right in for a visit.

Before my surgery, my blood pressure was out of control, and I was put on two medications for it.  Right after my surgery, I was taken off my water pill, and just left on my beta blocker.  Well, since losing almost 145 pounds, I have yet to be taken off of my beta blocker, or had that dose lessened.  Which is posing a problem.  It's working TOO well.  That, combined with my weight loss and how well I've conditioned my heart are now causing me to have bradycardic episodes.  Today, my resting heart rate after walking through the doctors office was 60.  Normal resting for an adult is between 60-100, so mine is on the low side.  At the gym, when I'm exerting myself, and needing the oxygen and all that other good stuff, it's WAY too low.  Which explains why I've been practically exerting myself to the point of passing out.  Because my heart is like oh hey, hey lady?  Yea! Stop!

So my beta blocker meds were cut in half today, and in two weeks I shall go back for a BP check. At that time we will determine if I can either completely stop the meds, or perhaps get on a different med that doesn't lower my heart rate so much.  I was noticing that on the treadmill especially my heart rate doesn't climb like it's supposed to, so there you have it.

Now for TWO NSV's!

My gym NSV: yesterday, my trainer shows me this exercise, where she binds my wrists in a band, and has me doing push ups on a Bosu ball.  When she first showed me this I was thinking is she fucking insane? But I did tell her I wanted an upper body workout. And I did tell her that I was up for anything.  Also, she knows what I can do before I do.  Like last week when she had me doing tricep dips, which I didn't think I'd be able to do either. BUT I DID IT! I did push ups! And not the sissy ones you do on your knees.  I did REAL UP ON MY TOES PUSH UPS!  Now, I didn't do many.  And I didn't go down very far. But dammit, I did them. I did them!!! And it felt amazing.

My doctor office NSV: My PCP was so pleased with my weight loss.  I saw him in January, and he was stoked that I've lost 25 pounds since then. He said when he walked in, he had to do a double take because I look so different. What's so funny is that this is the second time I have heard this, this week. We had a family photo taken at my step-dad's funeral service and I had shown it to one of my circles of friends. One of the girls commented that she didn't even realize it was me in the picture until I had said something. Now, I do not see the difference like that. At all. I think people are completely off their rockers. Surely I cannot look THAT different...can I?  Either way, it feels good when someone (in this case, my doctor) tells me that I have lost a tremendous amount of weight and praises me. It felt really really good today!