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Missing Things

During my weight loss journey, there are several things that I have successfully given up.  These are things I've tried and tried like heck before to give up before, but was never able to.  I was too weak to give these things up.  They controlled my life.  They controlled my mind.  They consumed my thoughts, and helped me pile on the pounds.  And yet, I still miss some of these things.  So, here's my list of things I REALLY miss.

1. Pizza.  Thick, doughy pizza, with extra sauce, crispy pepperoni, mushrooms and sauce.
2. Chicken wings.  REAL Buffalo wings y'all.  And I'm sorry, the rest of the country thinks they can make them, but they cannot.  You just can't.
3. Baked potatoes.  I haven't touched a potato in months.  That's a lie.  Since my surgery, I've eaten exactly 4 french fries.  But I make the best baked potatoes (and mashed) ever, so I miss them.
4. Big fat cheeseburgers. BBQ burgers. My BBQ burgers could win an award they're so good. And I miss them.
5. For the locals, eating Costanzo's rolls. The other night, we went to Jim's Steakout. I had a grilled chicken sandwich and it felt like a sin to toss the Costanzo's roll.  I nearly cried.
6. Doughnuts.
7. Bagels.
8. Rice.  Rice and beans. NOLA style.  Yum.
9. Most carbs.
10. McDonald's.  Truly.  It's delicious.  But so so so bad.
11. And more than ANYTHING, I miss Diet Coke.  I crave it constantly, especially since nothing still tastes good to drink to me :(

There's more.  I'm sure there's more.  But that's what I'm missing right now.  Want to know what I don't miss?

1. Constant back pain. It got to the point where even walking through the grocery store was kicking my ass.
2. Chronic migraines. Since my blood pressure has gone down, and since cutting out a majority of the sugar in my diet, I have yet to have a migraine.
3. Feeling tired, all of the damn time.
4. Having a tough time maneuvering or doing certain things.
5. Being out of breath walking up my stairs.
6. Being frustrated that NOTHING in my closet fits.
7. Trying on clothes in a store and leaving in tears because I couldn't find anything that didn't make me look like a stuffed sausage.
8. Feeling SO self conscious - feeling like everyone was starting at the fat person in the room.

And for this week's OH MY GOD HOW AWESOME IS THIS moment...

It's official.

I am FINALLY under 300 pounds.  I cried when I stepped on the scale the other day.  I literally stood there, grinning like a pig eating shit, and just cried.  It was so awesome.  I never thought I'd be under 300 again.  I really didn't.  I just resigned myself to the fact that I'd be this big the rest of my life.  Because really, I had tried so many things, so many diets, so many exercise gimmicks - and I failed at all of them.  But now?  I feel alive y'all.  For the first time in a REALLY long time.  I feel like maybe I can actually make it this time!

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