Exactly 1 year ago today, I embarked on a life-changing event. At that time, I didn't realize how weight loss surgery would completely change my life. Sure, I figured I would lose some weight. But I didn't know that it would completely just transform me as a person. Below are some photos. Sorry for the blurriness. On the left is me, 1 year ago and 153 pounds ago. I was a sad, sad person. I was in constant back pain because of my weight. My blood pressure was out of control. My cholesterol was out of control. My eating was out of control.
These jeans? I couldn't even freaking wear them a year ago. They were too tight, and made me uncomfortable. Seriously??! Just...wow.
Me 1 year ago: I hated to exercise. Walking around the grocery store was physically painful. My back would go numb before we were out of the produce aisle. I avoided large department stores, because I knew it'd be too much for me to walk. Also, I'd get over-heated really quickly, and get all hot and sweaty. To say that I was miserable is putting it lightly. I hated going out in public, because I hated how people would look at me.
Me now: Big store? No problem. I actually walk the malls now, for fun (ok, and fitness, too!). I never balk at the chance to do something physical now. Even having my son say to me "Mommy, wanna go for a wallk?" Now, I say yes and usually beat him out the door. No more back pain when I walk. No more numbness from exercise. I feel like a whole new person.
Me 1 year ago: Hated shopping for clothes. Always had to reach for the largest size on the rack (tops were a 30/32 or 4X/5X. Pants were 28 or 30). Everything I tried on felt too tight. I wanted shirts that were baggy to cover up my tummy. Half the time, I'd try on several things and leave the store sweaty and miserable. And I hated standing in line for the cashier; it would kill my back.
Me now: I can wear a men's XL shirt. Size L in Victoria's Secret pants. Jeans size 16/18. Tops anywhere from men's XL to a regular XXL. Not plus size...regular size. I can walk into Old Navy and buy right from the rack. I tried on an XXL gym top there that was TOO big. I don't even have to buy the biggest size now. It's an amazing feeling.
Me 1 year ago: Fantasized about food. ALL THE TIME! I ate fast food several times a week. Drank a 2-liter bottle of Diet Coke each day. My favorite meal? From Chipotle...a burrito bowl with extra rice and meat, and chips with salsa. I also drank a lot of wine and beer. Just empty calories.
Me now: Protein first. I can barely eat 3 ounces of meat at a sitting. I don't touch pasta, rice, breads or white potatoes. Rarely eat sweets. I no longer touch donuts or bagels. Sugary beverages are a no-no. I don't eat candy bars or ice cream. And if I do get a bowl from Chipotle, I get 5-6 meals out of it, no chips. My biggest guilty vice now is Starbucks.
Me 1 year ago: My husband would always ask me to go to the gym, and I'd make every excuse on why I shouldn't (cramps. Headache. Backache. anything!). I hated walking into the gym, because I was literally the elephant in the room. I felt so gross and so out of place.
Me now: I'll proudly walk into the gym by myself now. I have worked my ass off to lose over 150 pounds. I have muscles now, that I didn't have a year ago. I can wear tight gym pants and show off my calf muscles and be proud of how far I've come and how hard I work. My body is far from perfect. I have tons of loose skin and lots of problem areas. But I'm working harder than everyone who is just sitting at home.
Seeing my surgeon earlier in the week was great. He told me I have done an amazing job over the last year. All my blood work came back fine, in regards to protein levels, vitamins, iron, etc. My cholesterol is going down, with no medication. My blood pressure is going down, and I'm off one med, and have had the other med cut in half. I am physically active 6-7 days a week, sometimes more than once a day. I don't even feel like the same person that I was a year ago.
To think that it took me so long to make this decision - it seems like I wasted so much of my life being the fat girl. I am so done with that crap. I will never EVER EVER go back to that. I never want to look, or feel like that ever again.
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