My Sleeve and Me

Sometimes, I wish I could eat like a normal person.  But, thanks to my sleeve, I cannot. I'm not complaining.  I'm truly not.  I'm happy with how things are turning out.  I'm about 20 weeks out and my restriction is weird.  Like...sometimes I can eat what I feel is a lot, and at other times, I can barely eat at all.  

Last Friday, me and the fam went to Pizza Hut.  Yep.  Yours truly ate pizza.  We ordered breadsticks (I ate one), and we each ordered a personal pan pizza.  My guys gulped theirs down.  I was able to eat 1.5 pieces.  Which, I felt like was a lot.  But, then I considered that for me, sometimes, bread products seem to behave like sliders.  (And at other times, bread swells and I can't deal with it).  But considering how I also ate most of a turkey burger on a lite bun (with most of the top portion of bun removed), I'd say bread is a slider for me.  I know that crackers are, and cereal, so it makes sense that bread is.

Anyhow...I'm getting off topic.  Back to Pizza Hut.  I always talk about my former self, and my current self in regards to food.  My former self would of made sure we ordered a double order of breadsticks, because I would of eaten at least 3.  And for sure, we would of ordered a large pizza, because I would of packed away a good 3 slices.  Also?  I would of drank at least two glasses of Diet Coke with it.  But the new me couldn't do that.  And you know what?  I was perfectly ok with that.  

In 20 weeks, I've lost 90 pounds.  That's pretty good, if you ask me.  I have a completely different relationship with food than I did months ago.  I don't eat because of the enjoyment I'll get from food.  I eat because I have to, in order to survive.  It's so different.

Tonight for dinner, my restriction was awesome.  I mixed up a can of chicken (2 oz.) with 1 tbsp. low fat mayo, and then sliced a baby cucumber, a few mini heirloom tomatoes and threw a couple snow peas into the mix.  Typically, I can pack away all that chicken. Tonight, not even close.  It's funny how much it varies for me.  Some days I'm so close to going over 800 calories, and I find myself obsessing about it.  Other days, if I hit 600 it's a miracle.  Funny how this sleeve business works!

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