Halfway there...

I'm halfway to my desired weight loss.  I've lost 101 pounds so far.  I guess it's ok for almost 6 months.  I see my surgeon next week and I'll find out if he's pleased with my progress, or not so happy.  I have no idea what he'll be thinking.

I have realized that I am halfway to my goal.  I went into this knowing I'd ideally like to lose 200 pounds.  When I started my journey, that seemed like such a daunting figure. Now that I'm halfway there, it still does.  I'm not so sure I'll be able to lose another 100.  I've worked hard for this.  I work hard all the time at the gym and the pool.

I'm a rockstar at the gym, though.  My personal trainer takes me into the "muscle head" section of the gym - the place I always avoided because I can't stand "those" guys.  The big goofy muscle heads who stare at themselves in the mirror while they flex.  I hate them all.  And I've never felt comfortable near those people.  And now I'm working out side by side next to them.  That's right.  I'm at the squat rack, and I'm one of those people who stands looking in the mirror when I do my squats or calf raises to be sure my form is correct.  Ugh!

Anyhow, I've heard that weight loss the first 6 months comes easy, and after that, it's a struggle.  This worries me, because I've been a super slow loser, and I seem to get easily discouraged by this.

I'm prepared to kick up my exercise.  I can't wait for this tattoo to finish healing so I can hit the pool hard again.  I've REALLY missed it, but I've been good and put in extra gym time.  I've even gone to the gym alone - by my frikkin self - when my hubby couldn't go with me, and that's something I never ever would of done before.

I'm looking forward to dropping the next 100 pounds - I just hope it doesn't take forever. :/

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Well well well...

So...I WAS stalled.  Saturday, hubby and I went to Canadian bingo, and afterwards, hit a local Mexican joint that we haven't been to since around April or so.  Now, typically when I go, I'll down more than half the basket of chips with salsa, chug a gigantic strawberry margarita and eat all my food.  This was a completely different experience.

1.  I drank iced tea, but only drank 2 sips of it.  I hate not being allowed to drink while I eat, but I'm getting used to it.

2.  I ate exactly 4 tortilla chips.  Not half a basket, 4.  They were delicious.

3.  I ordered a gigantic burrito.  I was able to eat about 5 bites of it.  I took the rest home and had dinner that night, some for breakfast and wound up throwing the rest away.  4 meals for one low low price, boo ya!

I am convinced that a wee bit of carb loading, along with my swimming, broke my stall.  I used to do my 38 laps, which is half a mile.  Let me back that up.  When I started in July, I'd do 1/4 a mile.  Now?  I'm doing 76 laps so I can swim a mile.  It takes me awhile, but it burns around 1400 calories in the process.  Combined with my weight training at the gym, I feel I'm making real progress.  So much in so that I'm down 6 pounds since my last post.  I'm 16 away from losing 100.  And!  I REALLY REALLY wanna get a reward tattoo when I hit 100 pounds but....

I also just booked a trip to Disney for the family.  I haven't been in about 18 years.  My son and husband have never been, so I'm super excited.  I booked us a luxury condo that's about 2 miles from "The World".  I think out of the 3 of us, I'm the most excited.  Sure, my kid likes Disney, but not even remotely close to how much I do.  I'm a bit obsessed.  Always have been.  And I adore my 5 Mickey Mouse tattoos.  Our trip isn't until December of next year, so that gives me plenty of time to save $$ and to keep on shedding the fat!

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Stalled again. Grrrrr.

Being stalled has got to be one of the most frustrating things in the world.  Pre-op, I didn't weigh myself.  This was mostly due to the fact that the scale didn't go up as much as I weighed - the cut-off limit was 350 lbs.  So, I couldn't weigh myself even if I wanted to.  I'd get weighed at the doctors, but tell them not to tell me.  

Anyhow, now that I CAN weigh myself, I do it every single morning, like clockwork.  I really shouldn't, because all it does is drive me nuts.  BUT!  When I am stalled, it alerts me to this so I can make adjustments. 

I don't know what I'm doing wrong, y'all.  I am having my ass handed to my by my personal trainer at the gym.  She works me GOOD.  I swim laps three times a week, for at least an hour at a time.  I am getting at a minimum, 60g of protein a day.  This was my nutrioninst's minimum daily recommendation.  Now, I was in her office last week all in a panic, over my carb intake.  Because I have days where my carbs equal my protein.  But, she told me that 90g of carbs is my limit.  And, she would like to see my up my protein, so I do know that I need to do that.  It's just so hard.  The food addict in me still wants everything to come from food, not supplements.

Arrggghh.

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3 Months...

Today marks three months since my life transformation.  Or, we can call it my 3-month surgiversary.  But truly, I prefer life transformation.

Things have gotten a bit easier, diet wise.  I no longer feel the need to consult my handbook every single hour to make sure what I'm eating is ok.  I like to think I have an ok grasp on my nutrition.  However, I am going to see my NUT in a few weeks to just go over a couple things.  In my mind, my carb intake is ok, because I don't necessarily count carbs from fruit.  But, I feel like I could be losing weight quicker, so maybe I need to cut the fruit out until I'm in maintenance.  I don't know.  That's why I'm going to a professional - so she can analyze my diet and tell me which direction she'd like to see me go.

So, where am I?  Progress wise, I'm a bit behind where I personally would like to see myself.  My surgeon seemed pleased with my progress.  I haven't asked him to give me a goal, or a deadline, because quite frankly, I don't want to feel that pressure.  I read so many people on the support boards FREAKING out because they're a few pounds shy of their surgeons goal.  I have enough stress in my life.  I don't need any more.

Pound wise, in three months I have dropped 71 pounds.  It seems so...small.  But, it averages out to be 23.6 pounds a month and I'm still almost close to a pound a day.  I just wish I WAS losing a pound a day.  The whole carb thing again.  So 71 pounds gone.  Forever.  I guess I shouldn't complain.  I've NEVER lost this much weight before, ever, so it feels really good!!

Inches wise, I think I'm making the most progress.  Since surgery, I've lost a complete total of 52.5 inches.  7 inches of that came off my waist, which leads me to my next victory - being down 2 sizes.  A lot of my old pre-surgical pants fall right off of me now.  I tried on a pair of jeans the other day and there's just no way.  Even with a belt, there is just no way.  I just got into my size 26's and found a pair of really cute capris in my closet that were a 24.  I figured I'd try them on just to see how long I'd have before they would fit, and they zipped right up.  Woo woo hoo!!

A few short term goals that I have:

1.  Lose 75 pounds.  75 sounds like a killer number.  Then 80.  Cannot wait to say that.  What I REALLY can't wait for is to say "I've lost 100 pounds".  Wow.  How awesome will that be?

2.  Get into a size 22 pant.  Then a 20.  I won't truly be happy until I'm in an 18 though.  I don't ever recall being in that size.  In 7th grade, I was wearing a size 20 jean, so....

3.  Keep busting ass at the gym.  I've got the green light to get back into lifting, so my upper and lower body can really get an ass-kicking.  I cannot wait to start incorporating the weight training with everything else I'm doing.

Here's to the next 3 months!!

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I don't know...

Lately I've been feeling frustrated.  I don't know if I'm actually doing ok with my sleeve, or if I need a lot more work at getting good at living with it.  I'm not losing weight as quickly as I'd like to.  Yes, I'm a glass half empty person.  I try not to be, but I am.  It's just how I was made.  It's been almost three months since my surgery, and I've lost just shy of 70 pounds.  It doesn't feel like three months, but yet it seems longer.  But 70 pounds?  That's it?  C'mon.  That hardly seems like much.  Then again, when you average it out, it's like nearly 5 pounds a week.  So when you put it that way, it sounds good.  See what I mean?  I flip flop like this every single day.

I am busting my ass physically.  I swim at least three times a week.  And I'm at the gym at least three times a week.  I feel like I've come a long long way from before surgery, when all I did was sit on my ass.  

I am losing inches.  I've taken almost 7 inches off of my waist along.  I went from a size 28 down to a 26 and today I was able to get on my 24's comfortably.  This was awesome for me, because I literally just got into 26's like two weeks ago.  I've noticed that my 28's I can no longer wear; they fall right down, and my 26's were feeling a bit big, leading me to try on the 24's.

So this is progress.  Down two sizes in three months.  Down 52 overall inches.  Yes.  52.  I realize that's over 4 feet.  Can you fucking believe it??!!??!!  And down about 70 pounds.  I just WISH the loss were noticeable.  That's all.  It's pity party day.

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2 Months

Tuesday will mark two months since my surgery.  How my life has changed.  Two months ago, I was eating.  A lot.  Calories, carbs and fat - in unlimited amounts.  I ate to my hearts content.  I drank a 2-liter of either Diet Coke or Cherry Coke every single day.  I ate king size candy bars, and bags of M&M's and then I'd look at myself in the mirror and be SO disgusted with myself.  We'd order take out, or go through the drive-thru at least 3 times a week, and that wasn't even including how many times a week I went out for breakfast at Timmy Ho's or Starbucks.  Yes - life was different.

Today?  I eat well under 800 calories a day.  Most days, I'm around 650, actually.  Two months ago that was what - half a meal?  

Two months ago, I sat on my ass.  A lot.  I had a gym membership, but I was too self-conscious to actually go to the gym.  Today?  Wow, that's changed.  3-4 times a week I swim laps for an hour, and 2-3 times a week I do my cardio and strength training at the gym.  I am also doing this 30-day squat challenge one of my friends got me into.  Today was an off-day, thank goodness, because my thighs were certainly feeling it today.  I feel SO much better about myself than I did two months ago.  I feel alive again.  My mom saw me on Friday and she told me that even my whole aura has changed.  My pants are all too big (but I still wear them).  I can actually see a difference in my face now.  I'm still packing quite the double chin, but it's better than it was back in May.   

I am only down 56 pounds.  I say only because I had an agonizing stall.  A stall that lasted nearly 3-4 weeks.  I've still lost about 38 inches all together, over my entire body, though, so I guess I'll take it!

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