Progressing...

So after 130 pounds lost, I can fully admit now, I see the difference in one of my before/after shots.  On the left is me last May-ish.  It wasn't long post-op that much I know.  I must of been 340ish here maybe?  And there's me now, this past weekend.  Down from a size 28 pants to a 20, and the shirt is a 1 or 2X, I'm not sure, it's one of those vanity sized shirts with a funky size.  The tank top on the left is a 4X and you can see how snug that puppy is.  I am a MUCH happier person in the second photo, that's for dang sure.

I FINALLY cleaned out my closet.  I donated 15 garbage bags full of clothes that were just kinda old and crappy.  I sold a bunch of things on eBay this past week and made almost $300 doing it, so I can get some more clothes that actually fit.  I've been so limited on what I can wear, because I have a handful of tee's and shirts that fit.  All of my hoodies have gotten too big, and all of my fave t-shirts are starting to get super baggy to the point where I look like a bum wearing them.  Even my surgeon commented on this last week when I had my 9-month follow up.  

And speaking of my surgeon, I LOVE HIM.  Like, seriously love him.  He's the most kind-hearted, intelligent, compassionate doctor I've ever met.  I will miss him over the next year, when I go to only yearly appointments.  And he gives the best hugs when you make him happy :)

I also need to vent about something, or rather, someone.  That would be Ms. Rosie O'Donnell.  I used to be a big fan of hers, but this is going WAY back.  Like back when she still did good stand up, and was a VJ on VH1.  Anyone remember that?  Anyhow, I have read the recent articles that she had weight loss surgery, and has lost 40 pounds. Just.40.Pounds.  And here is where I am very unpopular, because I think if you need weight loss surgery to drop 40 pounds, you're fucking lazy.  Drop the donut, take your ass to the gym and bust your ass, dropping 40 pounds is not that difficult if you actually work at it.  But WLS for 40 pounds?  She's more nucking futs than I originally thought.

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3 Months...

Today marks three months since my life transformation.  Or, we can call it my 3-month surgiversary.  But truly, I prefer life transformation.

Things have gotten a bit easier, diet wise.  I no longer feel the need to consult my handbook every single hour to make sure what I'm eating is ok.  I like to think I have an ok grasp on my nutrition.  However, I am going to see my NUT in a few weeks to just go over a couple things.  In my mind, my carb intake is ok, because I don't necessarily count carbs from fruit.  But, I feel like I could be losing weight quicker, so maybe I need to cut the fruit out until I'm in maintenance.  I don't know.  That's why I'm going to a professional - so she can analyze my diet and tell me which direction she'd like to see me go.

So, where am I?  Progress wise, I'm a bit behind where I personally would like to see myself.  My surgeon seemed pleased with my progress.  I haven't asked him to give me a goal, or a deadline, because quite frankly, I don't want to feel that pressure.  I read so many people on the support boards FREAKING out because they're a few pounds shy of their surgeons goal.  I have enough stress in my life.  I don't need any more.

Pound wise, in three months I have dropped 71 pounds.  It seems so...small.  But, it averages out to be 23.6 pounds a month and I'm still almost close to a pound a day.  I just wish I WAS losing a pound a day.  The whole carb thing again.  So 71 pounds gone.  Forever.  I guess I shouldn't complain.  I've NEVER lost this much weight before, ever, so it feels really good!!

Inches wise, I think I'm making the most progress.  Since surgery, I've lost a complete total of 52.5 inches.  7 inches of that came off my waist, which leads me to my next victory - being down 2 sizes.  A lot of my old pre-surgical pants fall right off of me now.  I tried on a pair of jeans the other day and there's just no way.  Even with a belt, there is just no way.  I just got into my size 26's and found a pair of really cute capris in my closet that were a 24.  I figured I'd try them on just to see how long I'd have before they would fit, and they zipped right up.  Woo woo hoo!!

A few short term goals that I have:

1.  Lose 75 pounds.  75 sounds like a killer number.  Then 80.  Cannot wait to say that.  What I REALLY can't wait for is to say "I've lost 100 pounds".  Wow.  How awesome will that be?

2.  Get into a size 22 pant.  Then a 20.  I won't truly be happy until I'm in an 18 though.  I don't ever recall being in that size.  In 7th grade, I was wearing a size 20 jean, so....

3.  Keep busting ass at the gym.  I've got the green light to get back into lifting, so my upper and lower body can really get an ass-kicking.  I cannot wait to start incorporating the weight training with everything else I'm doing.

Here's to the next 3 months!!

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Missing Things

During my weight loss journey, there are several things that I have successfully given up.  These are things I've tried and tried like heck before to give up before, but was never able to.  I was too weak to give these things up.  They controlled my life.  They controlled my mind.  They consumed my thoughts, and helped me pile on the pounds.  And yet, I still miss some of these things.  So, here's my list of things I REALLY miss.

1. Pizza.  Thick, doughy pizza, with extra sauce, crispy pepperoni, mushrooms and sauce.
2. Chicken wings.  REAL Buffalo wings y'all.  And I'm sorry, the rest of the country thinks they can make them, but they cannot.  You just can't.
3. Baked potatoes.  I haven't touched a potato in months.  That's a lie.  Since my surgery, I've eaten exactly 4 french fries.  But I make the best baked potatoes (and mashed) ever, so I miss them.
4. Big fat cheeseburgers. BBQ burgers. My BBQ burgers could win an award they're so good. And I miss them.
5. For the locals, eating Costanzo's rolls. The other night, we went to Jim's Steakout. I had a grilled chicken sandwich and it felt like a sin to toss the Costanzo's roll.  I nearly cried.
6. Doughnuts.
7. Bagels.
8. Rice.  Rice and beans. NOLA style.  Yum.
9. Most carbs.
10. McDonald's.  Truly.  It's delicious.  But so so so bad.
11. And more than ANYTHING, I miss Diet Coke.  I crave it constantly, especially since nothing still tastes good to drink to me :(

There's more.  I'm sure there's more.  But that's what I'm missing right now.  Want to know what I don't miss?

1. Constant back pain. It got to the point where even walking through the grocery store was kicking my ass.
2. Chronic migraines. Since my blood pressure has gone down, and since cutting out a majority of the sugar in my diet, I have yet to have a migraine.
3. Feeling tired, all of the damn time.
4. Having a tough time maneuvering or doing certain things.
5. Being out of breath walking up my stairs.
6. Being frustrated that NOTHING in my closet fits.
7. Trying on clothes in a store and leaving in tears because I couldn't find anything that didn't make me look like a stuffed sausage.
8. Feeling SO self conscious - feeling like everyone was starting at the fat person in the room.

And for this week's OH MY GOD HOW AWESOME IS THIS moment...

It's official.

I am FINALLY under 300 pounds.  I cried when I stepped on the scale the other day.  I literally stood there, grinning like a pig eating shit, and just cried.  It was so awesome.  I never thought I'd be under 300 again.  I really didn't.  I just resigned myself to the fact that I'd be this big the rest of my life.  Because really, I had tried so many things, so many diets, so many exercise gimmicks - and I failed at all of them.  But now?  I feel alive y'all.  For the first time in a REALLY long time.  I feel like maybe I can actually make it this time!

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Feeling F-I-N-E

It's been a long time coming.  A long time.  In fact, I can't even remember the last time I felt like this.  Felt...good.  And shouldn't we all feel good?  I mean....we get one life.  And we get one body.  We should feel good!!

And to be honest, I feel FAN-FLIPPING-TASTIC.  I do.  My weight loss could be faster.  I could eat more protein.  I can make some improvements.  But compared to two months ago?  I feel like a completely different person.  This person, the one writing this right now, feels like someone else.  

I am someone who LOVES to wake up each morning and go work out.  Whether it's a pool day, or a gym day, I love it.  I love how I feel when I'm done.  Accomplished.  Energized.  I love seeing my progress.  I love everything about it.

I bought myself a FitBit so I could track my steps and what not.  There are days when it's difficult for me to get in as many as I'd like, because I work from home.  And on swim days, unfortunately, it looks like I'm very inactive, which isn't true at all.  But that's besides the point...

I also started the 30-day squat challenge.  Today was my day #9 and on tap for today was 100 squats.  I did 30 before my shower, 30 after my shower, and 40 while I was waiting for my lunch to finish cooking.  I am feeling VERY accomplished with this challenge.  If you told me two weeks ago that I'd be working out like this, AND doing squats, I'd of told you to take a shit for yourself.

Oh!  And one more THRILLING victory!  I have these 5 lb. hand weights at home.  5 lbs. doesn't sound like much, but for right now, it's all I need.  I use those and work my arms every day.  So, I'm looking in the mirror the other day and thinking to myself hhmm...my arms are looking better.  So I hold up my arm and flex my bicep.  I nearly DIED when I was able to see the tone in my arms!  I AM BUILDING MUSCLE TONE PEOPLE!  To some that might not seem like such a big deal, but to me, it means that what I'm doing is working.  I am a happy girl and I FEEL GOOD!

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