Torture Rack

Ever see a TRX at a gym?  The "T-Rex" as an old trainer lovingly referred to it.  I refer to it simply as "torture rack".  My very first experience with this machine from hell was the first time I worked out in the gym.  Vince was the trainer.  He was big and muscular and a dick.  He had me doing squats and lunges and all sorts of things.  And after 10 minutes, my legs were jello.  I had a hard time walking.  I left the gym after that, sat in my car and cried.  I cried because I was in pain.  I cried because I was ashamed that my weight got so out of hand I couldn't handle the TRX.  I just cried out of frustration.

After that, I walked funny for nearly a week.  It was bad.  Really bad.  And I hated the gym.  That experience made me hate going. I DREADED sessions with my personal trainer, because I was so scared he'd make me use the TRX again.

About a week or so ago, I was minding my own business on the treadmill.  One of the new trainers came over to me and we got to chatting.  We talked about my goals at the gym, and we talked about my surgery.  She asked if I'd want to work out with her, and I did.  I went into my session with her knowing full well I didn't want to work with a trainer again.  For one, it's expensive.  $40 a week.  That's a lot of money for me.  Second, I just want to go in, do my thing, and leave.  I don't want to work with a trainer and have to deal with it.  I just don't.  My first go-round with a trainer just didn't work out for me so well.  When my new trainer took me over to the torture rack, all I could think was OH.MY.GOD.NO.NO.NO.NO.NO.NO.YOU.SKINNY.BITCH.DIE.

We did squats.  And lunges. And these weirdo suspension push-ups.  And suspension bicep curls.  And!  I even got my fat ass down on the gym floor and did crunches.  And my trainer?  She's awesomesauce.  I fought wanting to work with a trainer again, but we just really gelled together.  And truth be told, I can really use the help at the gym.

She kicked my ASS on the TRX!  Later that day I could just feel the soreness in my muscles.  And when I woke up the next day?  Let's just say it took everything in me to suck it up and go to the pool, soreness and all, but I did.  I was incredibly sore for the next two days, but sucked it up.  And yesterday we even had another training session.  She's kicking my ass, but pushing me and my body to do things that I know it can do...that I want it to do.

And, with my personal training comes nutrition counseling as well.  I have a web site to log into to log everything, and she can check in on me and see how I'm doing.  Probably the worst part about yesterday was being weight, in the gym.  Oh, and then she took my measurements.  To her credit, she did ask me if I'd be more comfortable doing it secluded in the locker room but I just don't care anymore.  I don't.  I used to care.  I used to be SO self conscious walking into that gym, but I no longer care.  I belong there just as much as those lunk heads do, and I'll be damned if I'm going to walk around all uncomfortable in the gym.  Fuck it.  I pay my dues, it's my gym too.  And I just.don't.care.  

So that's where I'm at.  Today, I'm wicked sore from my workout again.  Thighs, butt, arms...all killing me, but it's good because I know I'm working, and I hope to goodness this helps speed things along!