Tomorrow!

Tomorrow is the day that I've prayed about, wished for, waited for and thought of for such a long time.  Today I'm doing ok, but I really want to eat.  I haven't stopped thinking about food all day.  Today my diet is just clear liquids.  Oh, and the oh-so-delicious mag citrate which of course, cleanses the insides.  

All the junk I've ever eaten, it's not been worth it.  It's not been worth the "suffering" of a two week liver reduction diet, or a day of liquids, and it sure as hell won't be worth the surgery itself.  I keep praying that everything goes well.  I had a lot of complications after my c-section so this scares the ever living hell out of me.  Also, I have my son, and he needs me.  

I'm feeling a wide range of emotions tonight.  I wish I would of gone through this surgery years ago the first time I considered it.  I wish I would of said no to all those second slices of pizza, or super size fries, or chocolate bars.  I wish I wasn't addicted to food.  Food is my drug and it's going to be a battle to break this addiction.

Wish me well!  This is a new beginning.